Wednesday, September 1, 2010

[Epilogue] The September Song

(Repost, included the song)

[iii] First Come, First Served
[vii] COLD COFFEE (k)NIGHT - Epilogue
[viii] BLUE RIVER: Entre'Acte
[ix] BLUE RIVER: A Sad Hue of Blue


[Epilogue] The September Song

Nature knows how to love
like lovers in a dance
Lifes a party, never stops
and wait for those who are sad

It was my first serene night after what has happened in the old pages of this life’s history. At last I have learned to let go, I really don’t know what has happened or what I have gained but at least im not troubled anymore. There comes a time that I encounter his name and I feel a little jolt in some bloody muscle inside, but It’s a strange sound now, not musically relevant nor an orchestral symbolism of something grand. The world indeed cant stop for someone who is sad and broken, it would continue to revolve around its axis never minding people who definitely will be left behind.

I woke up remembering the previous night, the night I burned the letters, deleted the messages, threw memento’s and cut all the strings attaching me with someone.

Grains of feeling scattered
all over the haunted bridge
Street filled with fools,
like distant thunders
Striking our hearts at glance

It wasn’t easy, picking up the feelings scattered in the floor. Its like picking a million tears, not wanting to be part of you again and you just ended up, mopping the floor dry, not wanting to slip down and hurt your ass. But you'd wish it would happen. I used to wish it would have been that easy. Its easier to be beaten up, every inch of the human flesh than to be in pain in that particular small part of the body.

I woke up a different person now. Shaved, clean, unbiased. Bruised, jaded, burned out no more. Looking at the mirror, I still have my self and that’s all that might matter in this life. Im my own hero after all. All the others left are strangers ready to strike a pose in someones life.

The August night melts
like the stars are clouded by mist
You seem so close like September’s grin
then cry all over again

Time flies so fast. It seems eternity that we parted from each other. You never said goodbye- when I said ill see you soon. You never said you cared – when I said I need you. You said nothings gonna be the same again – when I finally blurted out how much I have been through because of you. Those were your weapons that broke my fortress. I never really wanted anything that can harm someone nor making my stronghold strong. I really never really cared about myself. It seems im at the moment they call 'my Another Now'. A Now without you, A Now that only has me in it. The August is so far away, you were my September, and its ends tomorrow morning with a grin. You used to be the road that leads me home, now that road is blocked. I ve learned an alternate route, an alleyway without you.

Then I held your hand
upon my empty hearted chest
I saw you as the smoke ascends
need to forgive, ill never regret

On my way to our meeting place, by choice I passed by your apartment. I did what I could to reach out to you previously, I know you know that I never abandoned you. But you never budged…

And then there you were, at last i saw your smiles. Andrew welcomed you back in his life. May be that was one of the reasons… Maybe you really don’t need someone like me anymore. I was like what you call people who's just pestering you around, an IPIS of sorts. you've fought a tough battle and I was glad you were smiling, im not sure if youre victorious, you never gave me the chance to know the real story.
I forgive you, maybe in time ill learn how to forget too.

For the last time, below the shade of the clouded sun I whispered my goodbye.

The plane awaits for me to board,
counted reasons- one to nine
To leave this place,
beneath the sand lies gold,
can you be mine?

Ive flown my way towards the meeting place. I know now. Ive learned now.

I know now that life maybe unfair but its still beautiful and to finally realize its beauty is one of the reason we continue to live.

Ive learned now the reason why people kept on loving even though it almost always end up breaking our hearts. Because not loving at all is killing our opportunity to enjoy the reason and purpose that God has given us. We were created because of love, and thus we should live by it, full of love. Not loving is like not living this life at all.

Ride the clouds, over uneven hills
like a baby on a coaster ride
Just whisper, the echo and the wind
will deliver the unsung surprise

I started to smile. I was riding the clouds once again. No strings attached anymore. Free though unloved by someone but full of it nonetheless. I understand now, wherever my feet will take me, ill never be alone. I know someones waiting for me to come back.

I arrived at the meeting place. The place my mom told me about last night. She told me that Someone wanted to meet me here. I was surprised that someone turned out to be someheavenly troupe. I wasn’t alone after all. Though ive lost someone I hold dear, I still have more important angels that will never leave me. mom was there all smiles, Daniel and Karen, dearest to my heart were there. Brian and Brix-full of love, was shouting my name. Jake and Janus, was waving their hands in glee. JR, my crush was there too, showing off his sparkly teeth.

“Hello!” my heart whisphered.

And so a tale of love and loss ends, to start a new life worth living and worth reminiscing.

I am like your dying month of August
And you are my September Song
Unspoken words, like wet candles, wont burn again
Cant be reborn like the October monsoon...

[the end]

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