Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Why do you have to say those words, coz it doesn’t make any sense at all. Think of Sahara without sands or the Pacific without the seawater...


I am starting to hate you. Yeah i know, hate is a strong word and it doesnt fit you actually, ok, ok, ill rephrase it and it goes like this... I am starting to hate myself because of YOU.

YOUre definitely special no doubt about that, but frankly, when i first saw you walking the highway of life, i never saw what i shouldve seen. You never possess the HALO nor the angelic wings which my eyes usually see, the glow in youre face is rather dim and the pleasant personality that you have- seems to be so ordinary, nothing peculiar or remarkable. I felt youll just be someone who will pass by the highway, either running or sitting on the passenger seat of ur special someone.

Someone inside me always mentions your name as I walk my street, which is becoming unglittered and savage. The alley that I usually walk through is very far from the avenue that you usually take, but there came a time that when I looked back on the direction you were going, there you were running towards me away from the street that you are familiar with. Its as if youre flying and the broad wings that you posses now seems strong enough to pull yourself from the sandy ground and now you were aglow, you took my hand and a sudden bolt of electricity took me by surprise, really it was something special.

Special as it seems, I started to think of you more- there you were beside me, walking side by side; and I don’t know what to do. You gave me reasons to like you more – youre frequent smiles affects me so much and I am starting to love your snowy cute face. Im really sorry i wasnt suppose to feel this way but im starting to ask something that i might regret in the near future- i wanted us to be more than just friends. I do hope there is nothing wrong with that, were both free but i fear to accept that were also afraid.

Afraid. I am so afraid. For years now, i am living my so called life alone and when i finally walked the road with you glittery pathways were realized and the savageland became haven for me... With you around TIME STOPS.

When my world stopped, i didnt noticed that for a very short period of time you have noticed the little signboard on OUR street... an when you saw that, you suddenly turn your back from me and ran back to your familiar avenue. was I another STOP SIGN in your life or maybe another ditch that you should avoid?... You to me were never a stop sign, in fact your the shortcut to happiness, contentment and love, it just so sad that you have left me alone again and all i have left to do is to move forward on my street while you walk towards the destination i will never know. I wanted to think that one day our path will cross again and i will see you pass by the highway, either running or sitting on the passenger seat of ur special someone... I just dont understand the reason why i always think of you, eventhough your on a different avenue now, maybe walking with someone you found stronger and prettier than me... But im starting to hate myself because of you- You turned bland and thawed and while i was left dreaming of you and scribbling your name on an empty paper. Our friendship seems so old and ragged, is it time to speed my way to you or just stay here on my old road.?

My old road came back- unglittered and savage, neverminding the ditches and the stop signs- and i am walking towards nothingness.

"...another bruise to try and hide
another alibi to write
another lonely highway in the black of night
there's hope in the darkness
i know you're gonna make it...
...another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
silent fortress built to last
wonder how i ever made it..."
- Two Beds and a Coffee Machine by Savage Garden

(A repost from my old defunct blog)

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